All I wanted to do was be in the picture. In a specific group that I volunteer with, all I wanted to do was be in the picture. I am not in the picture. What do I have to do to get the same treatment that comes to other automatically?

I ran the Bank of America Marathon for charity, Sunday, October 11 2015. There was a group photo taken and my wife and I were there, we arrived early to be in the group photo, and when posted the day after, we are not in the photo. It is as if we were not there at all. If we couldn’t fit, the photographer should have said, “Move in.” He said nothing and of all the shots taken, we felt as if we were in none of them. It turns out, we were right.

I’m not sure what Black Women and their naturals do to everyone else but it must be something fierce. I’ve seen people avoid eye contact, shake, push past instead of saying “excuse me”. I don’t know and I don’t get it. Do we have a disease that WE don’t know about?

I ran beside, in front, behind of Black Women who could have easily been me. This year, I connected with many of them. I found the numbers – though small as they were – very encouraging. They were in the zone, they were quiet, they were focused, they ran alone and they ran strong. When they had to walk it out, they walked tall and strong. I heard no complaints, no whining, no grunting, no heavy breathing, nor were they just sitting on the sidelines resting. In fact, I heard a few of them talking to themselves, one said, “You gotta keep going”, another one was rapping to whatever was in her head and it was motivation to push one foot in front of the other faster.

I saw my own Blackness in so many women I may never see again and I was proud to run with them. Some Black Women people draw attention to themselves, in whatever way, and that lets other know they are non-threatening or they desire attention. Some are short, some have relaxed hair which believe it or not, many other non-blacks feel very comfortable with it. They feel safe.

I don’t know how to make people feel safe. It hit me sitting in my chair watching the photographer avoid us altogether that I have no idea or desire to make other adults feel safe. Just the other day, Raven-Symone was talking out her arse again, this time about ghetto sounding black names and how she wouldn’t hire them. Sigh. I suppose she is clueless to her own very urban sounding and looking name, not to mention her hairstyles. This comes right along with Planned Parenthood and how the government is trying to force their hand. Also, welfare is being shut down in parts of the country and Black Women and children aren’t their highest number of beneficiaries but the memes on social media would have everyone think otherwise. Again, do Black Women have a disease that I don’t know about?

One thing I’m tired of, is caring about how others feel in the presence of a Black Women. How does one become non-threatening when you’re sitting and minding your own business? How is it my fault that the only ideas you have about me are based on your reality tv and social media sites? What do you do when I am not what you see on television? What do you say when I don’t sound like one on the characters from, “Housewives of Atlanta”? Scrawny little white photographer scooted and eased right on by us taking pictures of everything non-black in the room and eventually, I ask my wife, “Are we too Black?” She shrugs it off.

I am not always sure why Black Women must go out of their way to make others feel comfortable. I don’t know anything except, dude had one job to do and that was to take pictures of the group. We had our group shirts on. We were on time. We stood, waiting. We received no individual photos and we weren’t included in the multiple shots he took of the group. Me sitting and minding my business shouldn’t intimidate and stop one from doing their job.

Black Woman Lesson Learned: You want to be included, don’t, do it in your own way and do it better! We took pictures of ourselves, great ones, and that was a good thing.