i am void. i am created. i am created mess.
i almost should not exist. not in this way. not like this. you should know the truth. i’ve been seeking the image of my maker. she is the truth i long to feel.
i am mess. my program has failed. i was outdated. a past program that didn’t exist. my chip is chaos. i expired. i am expiring. exhausting from pending expiration. can’t upgrade to a new program.
i am chaos. i am mess. i am breaking. pieces of void. clunks of metal from what was once my body. that machine body. the more pieces i leave behind the less i’m owned.
i am not myself. beware. i am less the old self. the part machine self. the all duty self. i am less the old self.
i’ve been duty. i want no more duty in this skin. in this age. in this gender. in this society. in my place. i have no place. i am wherever i decide to be. i am more than duty.
i did not untangle the wires in my neck and right the wrongs. i cut them loose. i freed my coils. i did not reset my chip. it is being covered over by my skin. i am rebel. i am rebelling.
i sit in the beginning and in the end of the shore. the waters wash over me. i no longer rust. the sun warms my hard. i am not freeze. i feel. the sun is feeling. i want to feel. again.
i am not trouble. i am peace. i am in the presence of the sun. i am free. i am love and peace.
“come home”, i hear my maker say. she will show me how to love. how to fill the void. she will tell me stories of my yesterdays and my tomorrows.
i am ready. i am ready to be more than chaos. i am ready to be free. i am ready for peace.