this skin… is not a love story… sighing blues… gospel tears… hip hop behind biting tongue… calming aggression… folding jazz in between quilts… of missing ancestry… missing pieces… hanging threads

stuffing my hands in my pockets… tight fists… blood in my hands… holding my huff and puff… when i want to suck my teeth… cross my arms… to still my frame… to hold the pain… wear red… public bleed… for a public shame

how much silence do you want from me?

your skin like mine

your blood attuned to the moon

wombs birthing nations

whispers restoring peace

how much silence do you want from me?

 

my voice / spirits’ wrath /  elders defiance /  ancestors’ fears / granddad rage /  grandmas tears

 

am i my sister’s keeper?

NO!

i am my sister

 

this skin… is not a love story…  there will be no happy ending… there could be… yet… you see your blackness as your own… separate… you drop your loads at the colored entrance… at the back door… escape… black world problems elsewhere… to play the game… american dreaming… passing… for more… conditioned… trained… they allow you in… through the side door

this skin… is no love story… i am no happy ending…  scores to settle… i am here… prayers answered…  sobbed in the bleak of cotton fields… they have been redeemed… redemption… ancestral narrative justice… in chapters… in themes… part the expected prophecy… upgrade the slave patrol… tracking… discredit blackness… shave off the esteem… hoping i just sleep… warriors rampage… confined to jungle concrete… pursued… bones to pick… i can’t just be… okay… with living like this

how much silence do you want from me?

 out of damns i can’t yell

exhausted the fucks i can’t scream

betrayed

you put an “i” in your team

what happened to the dream?!

 

yet / there’s power in numbers / there’s power in black dreams

 

this skin… is not a love story… our love comes at cost… softness at nights… pillowed by tears… wrapped in sobs… waiting for the winds to pass… to leave reminders… that this is not where we began

 

how much silence do you want  from me?

 

i am a beast / untamed / revolution walking / displaced / new nation / black southern refugee / descendant / forced migration / revolt /  anti hate supremacy / refusing boxed seats / refusing silencing / i am my ancestors’ right to speak

 

where is your heart? / there’s power in numbers! / there’s power in black dreams! / there’s power in black voice! / this skin is not a love story / bodies perceived hard / less than human

 

what’s worse? / we steal our own breaths / backs to back / shut out /  we the weapons /  we the threats / save our smiles for those across color lines / make it rain black blood / forgotten mother-ship / docked at bay / we got selfish ambition desires / buried warriors / forgotten fights /  dim stars / forgotten shine / stop expecting our respect / merely exist /  barely survive /  cope /  on a cheap high

 

we’re sacrificing  /  black dreams / black heart beats /  black communities

how much silence do you want from me? 

we used to be on the same team / we used to speak / now / you keep your goodness / this skin / now / your enemy

*image courtesy of stp photography. creative commons.*

 

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